Interview Anonymous ....Continued

By Kristy Thornton

Q. How do you get in touch with other homosexuals?

♀ “I have met other girls through friends here, by hearing about them through the grapevine, by going to gay bars and clubs in Taipei, or sometimes just bumping into them in local restaurants and bars.”

♀ “With difficulty.”

♀ “For women, it’s extremely difficult. Though I see Taiwanese lesbians everywhere, they don’t seem to have a meeting place. The lesbian community seems to be very underground here, and the women tend to be more closeted than at home. There is a small group of foreign lesbians and bisexuals that meet, and Taiwanese lesbians/bisexuals are also more than willing to come out. You can contact us at  out_in_taiwan@hotmail.com.”

♂ “There are websites with personals, some used by people from across the sexual spectrum, some particularly for gay men.  I have used some sites to try and meet men who are not just interested in getting it on, but there are VERY few of those.  Of those I have contacted, I have yet to meet any.  I haven’t made a new gay male friend for at least 5 years.”

♂ “Mostly over the internet since we don’t really have any gay establishments in Taichung besides the gym. I’ve met other gays and lesbians through straight friends. “

Q. Do you feel comfortable with or accepted while expressing yourself as a homosexual (perhaps looking the stereotype)?

♀ “Yes, I feel very comfortable and don’t believe that myself or anyone I know look like a stereotype.”

♀ “I don’t change the way I look or act in public to make others feel more comfortable. I don’t make out with my girlfriend in public, but if I was heterosexual, I wouldn’t make out with my boyfriend either.”

♂ “Amongst foreigners, I feel entirely comfortable expressing myself, but I am not the stereotype.  I try to earn respect by showing it.  Amongst Taiwanese, there seems to be little attention given to (or at least talk about) ‘alternate’ mannerisms.  A man’s flamboyance, for example, is allowed to continue without criticism.  I expect a local who bashes people with his homosexuality is probably not well-received, but then the same is true in the West.”

♂ “I feel comfortable expressing myself as being gay. The only ones that will accept me are either close family, long time friends, or and other gay friends. Not even the most liberal of acquaintances, in the most liberal cities, accept me or the gay community entirely in my opinion. We are respected, tolerated, but we are not accepted by the establishment anywhere in the world. Just like racism, homophobia is everywhere.”

Q. How do Taiwanese people treat you if they know or suspect you’re gay?  Is it different back home?  i.e. Are you judged differently here compared to back home?

♀ “The Taiwanese friends I have don’t treat me any differently; I guess they wouldn’t be my friends if they did.    The people I interact with daily, for example my Chinese work colleagues or neighbors, don’t show any signs of knowing or caring about my sexuality.  Sometimes people stare or look twice at my girlfriend and I when we are walking around holding hands but I just smile at them, or ignore them, depending on my mood.”

♀ “I don’t feel comfortable expressing my sexuality when I am in the company of Taiwanese people.  So if they suspect that I am gay, I won’t confirm or deny it.  I am definitely not shy or ashamed about being gay, but I feel that most Taiwanese are naïve and inexperienced and do not know how to act around gay people, especially gay foreigners.”

♀ “Taiwanese people tend not to change their behavior once they know I am gay, at least not to my face. They don’t ask me any questions, and never bring it up.”

♂ “Like in the West, the Taiwanese response is influenced by generation.  Younger people, possibly especially women, have no problem with it, and treat me as they would anyone else.  Older people don’t really want to go there, and why should they?  There are, however, some people my age who seem not to like it, and underlying the usual Taiwanese practice of allowing the other person to save face, there is a defined distaste.  (My colleagues do all know.  Some I told, others know via the grapevine.  Those I’ve told treat me no differently.  Some of the others don’t like it.)  Again, like the West.  Having said that, the sexual revolution is a very new thing in Taiwan, and the country as a whole is not where the West is regarding this issue.”

♂ “They smile. The ones that lived in the west try to understand it. I think it’s a western concept to them. Some of the local gay men in Taiwan really struggle. Taiwan to me would be a difficult place to grow up gay. I sometimes have a feeling that Taiwanese just pretend it doesn’t exist.”

Q. What about the straight foreigners in Taiwan- in your experience, are they more or less open to homosexuality?

♀ “Very open.   I feel relaxed being openly gay around foreigners and have never felt that I made anyone in my company feel uncomfortable.”

♀ “Foreign women ask me if I find them attractive. They’re satisfied, but uncomfortable if I say yes and insulted if I say no. It’s a lose-lose question that almost always gets asked. When they are drunk, they will often tell me about the one-time experience they had with a woman. If their boyfriend, or a guy they are interested in is watching, often they will flirt with me.  Foreign men always want to know how we do it without a penis. They ask me if I have ever slept with a man. When I say “no”, they ask, “then how do you know you don’t like it. I respond with the question, “Have you ever slept with a man? Disgust crosses their face. Then how do you know you wouldn’t like it. Answer: You just know. Then, they want to know if I think their girlfriend is hot.  When they get drunk, they ask if they can watch.”

♂ “In my experience, the incidence of homophobia among urbanized Westerners has dropped, and it is possibly even frowned upon by even heterosexual men.  (Women have always been more inclined to accept gay men, though this may not be so true for gay women.)   More correctly, I should say that it had dropped almost out of sight before I came out of the closet, which was about 19 years ago.  I have perhaps 3 times (but I think it is more like once) found myself in a situation where I was being harassed for my sexuality.  The stereotypical gay man can be a bit much to stomach for a beer- slugging, sport-loving heterosexual.  This makes it difficult for such a man to want to accept the ‘deviance’.  The same can be said for the stereotypical gay woman.  In my experience, showing respect for the other person’s socialization always produces a positive outcome.  Long-winded, but the bottom line is, the heterosexual foreigners in Taichung are the same as they are everywhere, and their response to homosexuality is also no different.”

♂ “More or less open I’d have to say. I’ve met a couple of people that seemed to stand off after finding out. I don’t shake hands with people and tell them I’m gay though. We are all entitled to our own thoughts and opinions. I don’t think a lot of straight people should be having children, but they do anyway. I don’t blow a horn in their face. I’m not going to divulge my private life to perfect strangers.”

Q. What would you have titled this issue?

“… ‘Alternative’ makes me think of music and medicine, not sexual orientation.”

“Queer Education for the Straight Nation”

“Come out, come out, wherever you are!”

“We’re Already On The Same Page”

“Gay as the 1st of May”

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